Back on My Bullshit: Porn Reborn

I started watching porn again. I hadn’t really been watching porn for the last three years, mostly because I lived in a house with thin walls and ground level windows that were easy for people to look into. Sure, I’m an exhibitionist, but there was something about living with a bunch of racist lesbians that was just a total boner killer. Normally, I’d love for my roommates to hear me masturbate, but those bitches were both basic and nosy, and I just wasn’t ready for all of that.

I guess there’s something to be said for the pandemic, too – it was a great opportunity for me to break a lot of my bad sexual habits and start over. Primarily, I decided I didn’t want to just fuck for fuck’s sake. Sex is fun, but fucking just out of habit, in this emotionally void yet compulsory way had lost its luster. So I took a break, doubled my anti-anxiety medication, and tried to be zen in my room while not spreading a deadly infectious disease.

Well, here I am. I’m on the other side of all of that bullshit now, living in my nice condo with a view and drinking strawberry smoothies every morning. I’m off the lexapro, which is cool but it has also made me both very weepy and very horny at every moment of the day. Which is cool after a year of sexual stasis, but, oh. My. God. I found myself on 4chan the other day for the first time in a long time, and in a matter of minutes I realized that I had been looking at hentai porn for hours. I felt like a little kid on Christmas – I totally forgot that I could watch animated fox impregnation porn with just the click of a button. Incest hentai. Tentacle porn. Holy shit. And, even better, now that I don’t have roommates: sound on, bitches!

That was two days ago, and I don’t know if I’m making up for lost time or what, but I cannot stop watching porn. It’s exhilarating. And what’s up with hentai? I was never into hentai back in the day. I was a BDSM lesbian porn kinda gal, but I guess things change, and now I’m really into watching cartoon porn. There’s something about people porn right now that just isn’t doing it for me. For one, American porn is just so…fake. I tried watching a people porn, and it was just like: these people clearly don’t wanna do their jobs. How am I gonna be watching porn and thinking about how these people are just phoning it in at work today? How American. Even the porn actors need a union these days, but I wasn’t trying to think about unionizing porn actors so they can get better health care or whatever – I was trynna jerk off. So, hentai it is.

So, long story short, I’m back on my freak shit, which honestly is kinda annoying because I liked feeling like an asexual asylum dweller during the pandemic. It was easy, comfortable, controlled. Now that things are reopening and I’m fully vaccinated – well, this is how I make stupid decisions. But it’s been a long time since I made a stupid decision, so wish me luck.

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