Consent

Here’s something that we don’t talk about that I wish we would talk about: drunk men who initiate sex. In feminist circles, we all know that it is 100% not okay for a man to have sex with a drunk woman. He should say no, even if she’s consenting, because it’s such a gray area. But what about the men? What about men who are drunk and still want to fuck? I’ve been in this situation before. I’ve even been sober while a drunk man initiates sex. And I haven’t said no, sometimes because I was down to fuck, and sometimes because I was too scared to say no. I was scared because, well, a drunk man can be a frightening sight. I honestly can’t imagine saying, “You’re too drunk to have sex with me” to a man without risking the possibility of a verbally and perhaps even physically violent fight. But I should imagine being able to say that. Because I appreciated it when men said that to me – so why wouldn’t they want to hear it? In that situation, it’s not like I would be saying no because I didn’t want to have sex. I’d be saying no because it’s a moral gray area and I want to respect his sexual security. I think it would be cool if women set the precedent of, “We’re not doing this when you’re drunk.” I just never realized that was something I could do. But I can do anything, so I should do this.

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