Interracial Relationships

Yes, I am in an interracial relationship. But, then again, I’m always in an interracial relationship. That’s because I’m the product of two generations of interracial relationships, and the only way I could not be in an interracial relationship is if I were to date someone who were also half dutch, a quarter Filipino, and a quarter Mexican.

Everyone in my family is in interracial relationships. My father was white, and my mother is Filipina and Mexican. My mother’s parents had to leave California and go to Texas so they could get married because interracial marriage was illegal in California in the 1940s. My father, an only child, broke the blood line by marrying out of his race, and his mother threatened to commit suicide over it. (Bitch!) My oldest sister married a light skinned Creole guy, and my brother married a Mexican immigrant. We might have a white last name, but no one in my family is white. All the white people died.

But the rest of the world is not like this. It took me a long time to realize that people think dating outside their race is weird. Sure, here in the Bay Area people are pretty understanding about it. But not as understanding as you’d think. I’m here to snitch on that.

I’ve dated across the racial spectrum, but – guess what! There’s only one race that draws derisive comments. You know what I’m talking about. If you date a black guy, there’s always some sarcastic, winking comment that comes with it. Now, I would just like to state for the record that, no, it did not piss off my father when I had a black boyfriend, and I didn’t do it to try to piss him off. As stated above, my family’s not like that. Rather, I’m a narcissist, and I believe I should fuck the hottest guy in the room. Seeing as this is the Bay Area, which is very diverse, and I hang out at bars – well, hate to break it to you, but the white guy is never the hottest guy in the room, unless, of course, the room is completely empty.

The implication that dating a black man is a kink, a phase, or an act of rebellion is ludicrous and insulting. Anti-blackness is so pervasive in our society that when I (as a non-black person) am seen or known to associate romantically with a black person, people think it’s okay to throw casual anti-blackness my way, too. Even worse, they think I’m going to condone it by agreeing with them! As if I couldn’t be in a relationship with a person because I’m attracted to him and we get along. I don’t go up to people of color who date white people and make jabs about, “Oh, you’re only doing it for the white privilege run off you get from being in close proximity of a white person.” But maybe I should.

All I want is for people to be happy for me or mind their own damn business. Yes, I’m aware that interracial relationships are a point of contention in the black community, too, but it’s not really my place to speak on that. I’ll always advocate for people to date outside their race because, well, if people didn’t date outside their race I wouldn’t exist, my family wouldn’t exist, and I’d be forced to be single forever.

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