Desperate Times Call For Desperate Pleasures

I scoffed at the text message. Which he sent at 1am. Asking me why I didn’t call him.

I got an email from someone who saw me on Tinder, looked me up, found my email address, and entitled it, ‘Dating.’ That was creepy as fuck.

Another text message from a recent tepid hook up, asking me for the opportunity to ‘fuck the shit out of me’ after I stopped hitting him up because he had mansplained to me why La La Land was better than Moonlight. Such cringe.

I did a bunch of ketamine with my local drug dealer a couple weeks ago and then had a panic attack that I got coronavirus just because of course my throat felt a little achey after blowing lines. Duh.

Currently hoarding Viagra and Cialis.

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