Intensity of Emotion

It seems that my emotional state is still incredibly fragile, and any external factor can push my emotional state over the fucking edge, regardless of how much weed I smoke or how much I increase my anti-anxiety medication. Which is a total bummer. I must admit that I don’t think I’m ready for anything to reopen anytime soon. The idea of being in a public social situation sounds like a god damn nightmare, despite the fact that, yes, I really miss seeing all your beautiful faces at the bar. I can’t imagine sitting at a bar and running into people I haven’t seen in months and not 1) ugly crying or 2) getting into a physical altercation. And I’m not really looking forward to dealing with people who are out on day one of post-quarantine and how high key that’s going to be. So perhaps I will slowly expand my social circle so that I don’t come off like a total psycho mess, but, my god, this shit has been intense, and I’m not going to pretend that it’s been anything less than harrowing, even from my perch of privilege.

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