It seems that my emotional state is still incredibly fragile, and any external factor can push my emotional state over the fucking edge, regardless of how much weed I smoke or how much I increase my anti-anxiety medication. Which is a total bummer. I must admit that I don’t think I’m ready for anything to reopen anytime soon. The idea of being in a public social situation sounds like a god damn nightmare, despite the fact that, yes, I really miss seeing all your beautiful faces at the bar. I can’t imagine sitting at a bar and running into people I haven’t seen in months and not 1) ugly crying or 2) getting into a physical altercation. And I’m not really looking forward to dealing with people who are out on day one of post-quarantine and how high key that’s going to be. So perhaps I will slowly expand my social circle so that I don’t come off like a total psycho mess, but, my god, this shit has been intense, and I’m not going to pretend that it’s been anything less than harrowing, even from my perch of privilege.