The Straight Queers

I’ve had enough of it, y’all. I’m so sick of dating straight queer men. I don’t even really understand what the point of being a straight queer is. No matter how many times my straight queer male friends and partners explain it to me, it just sounds like straight with a dash a queer struggle swagger jacking for a bit of extra pizzazz. For me, when I hear that a partner of mine is queer, I automatically suggest, ‘Oh, cool, so let’s find a third guy and let me watch him suck your dick’ or something along those lines. Cuz that’s queer, right? I’m down with queer sexuality. Let’s explore your queer sexuality! Let’s do some gay shit! That’s literally what you’re into, right? And I love the strange, so let’s ge weird! But, no, it’s always, ‘Why don’t we have an MFF?’ Boy, no. Let me tell you. I am a ‘straight’ tried and true, which means that I’m not interested in fucking other women (unless I am, in which case, I am still straight, but sometimes I’m down to fuck a woman). You being queer doesn’t mean that I’m interested in fucking other women.

Is this problematic? This is probably problematic. But I’m trying, you guys. Okay? If a partner tells me he’s queer, I assume that means he’s down to do some queer shit with me. I don’t understand queer men who want to tout their queerness but only want to do straight shit with me. What’s the point of telling me you have a sexual preference that I can’t participate in? That’s boring! Even worse – when they tell me they’r queer but they never do any queer stuff, period. Like, how you gonna be a homophobic queer straight man? Shit doesn’t make any sense to me.

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