What Is Game?

I was talking to Gangsta Boo about my recent frustrations with different men’s game. In particular, an episode wherein a would be paramour threw a mild tantrum when I didn’t want to spend time with him.

Gangsta Boo sagely told me, “He’s gotta not throw tantrums. How is he going to get a second chance if he throws a tantrum? I went out on a date with this girl one time, and she ran out in the middle of the date, but instead of throwing a tantrum, I went home and dealt with the rejection in private. Next time I saw her, I played it cool. Now that girl drinks my piss. That’s game.”

I looked back at Gangsta Boo, and before I could even finish thinking, “Who the fuck is this bitch?” It occurred to me, “Oh…that’s me.” Which also made me feel like: goddammit, did I get gamed? I mean, whatever, that was years ago, and it’s not like I’m here despite my better judgment or a lack of interest. But, yeah, that’s fucking game.

I’ll admit it – usually when I’m seeing someone I like to toss a little bit of rejection his way just as a litmus test. Not a major amount of rejection, mind you – I’m not trying to be cruel. I’m just trying to gauge: if I pull away a little bit, what happens? The tantrum? The cold shoulder? Contrived indifference? Emotional melt down? Or can you play it fucking cool? And still go after what you want? Determination, confidence, emotional agility – all the building blocks of game.

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