“So & So warned me about you.”

Ugh. How come I hear this every time. Swear to god, I can’t remember the last time I had a sexual partner who didn’t say that about me. Cool, I get it, people talk shit. Although, ironically, usually the people who are out there valiantly warning men I already fucked about me are the ones that I would never, ever sleep with. So I assume it’s just some sort of long con cock block, but – you know what? Yes, I am a man eater, and no I don’t give a fuck, so take that! Some men like being eaten by women like me, so just let us do our thing in peace. I’ll let you gnaw on his bones when I’m done with him. We can get a little quid pro quo going here, if that’s what you’re into. In fact, can you go warn the rest of the East Bay about me? I’m getting hungry.

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