$700

“I need your help avoiding jail.”

“What’s up?”

“You know you’re at the bottom of the list of people that I would call if I needed help with something like this.”

“Well, good, I’m glad I’m at the bottom of the list, where I belong.”

“It’s just, you know, all this court stuff…”

“You’re asking me for money, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not asking you for money.”

“Are you asking me for emotional support? Because I got tons of that for you.”

“This is the problem with you. You’re a power bottom. And you think you can talk to me like that, but you can’t.”

“I’m sorry. You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. I don’t need your validation.”

“Okay, okay…well, why don’t you ask one of your white bitches? That’s what they’re there for, right?”

“Can’t you just ask one of your sugar daddies?”

“How much money is it?”

“$700.”

“I could ask my sugar daddies for $700, and then I could just keep that $700.”

“You keep on thinking that this shit is cute. You know what we’re gonna do? I’m gonna take a video of you sucking my dick and sell it online.”

“Do I get a cut?”

“No.”

“Isn’t that pimping?”

“It’s only pimping if I hit you.”

“You’re going to hit me cuz I love that shit.”

“Aw, fuck, you’re right…”

“Why don’t you ask your best friend for the money? Here’s an idea – tell him I’ll fuck him for $700, and then get the money, and then I won’t fuck him.”

“If you can get a man to pay $700 to fuck you, I’m gonna have to pimp you out.”

“Ha. Ha. Very. Funny.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“I love you so much, daddy.”

“Prove it.”

“I’ll suck your dick!”

“If you don’t get me this $700, I’m not gonna let you suck my dick. Because I’ll be in jail. And someone else will be sucking my dick, and you don’t want that, do you?”

“Um, that sounds hot, and I’m down to watch.”

“It’s jail! They don’t let you watch!”

“I’ll find a way.”

“You keep on thinking that you have power in this relationship. But you don’t. Did you forget that?”

“No…”

“That’s right. You do what I say.”

“Okay. I’m just trying to have some self respect in this situation. I’m not just going to let you walk all over me.”

“Self respect? You know what you can do with your self respect? Take your self respect, put it in your mouth, and then when you see me, I’m going to take my dick out and piss in your mouth. And you can swallow my piss along with your self respect.”

“Yes, daddy. When are you going to get here?”

“I’ll get there when I get there, and you’ll know because you’ll be standing at the bar with your friends and all of a sudden you’ll feel a finger in your pussy and a finger in your asshole. And I’ll be there.”

“Ooh, I can’t wait!”

“And if you behave yourself, I’ll be nice to you. I’ll let you eat me out.”

“I’ll behave myself.”

“Yeah, right, you never behave yourself. I’m going to have to punish you. I’m probably going to have to take you to the bar and piss in the toilet and make you drink my piss out the toilet.”

“Okay, so long as it’s not the Ruby Room. That place is gross.”

“Hah! We’re going to the fucking Ruby Room then!”

“Oh, great, my ex works there, maybe he’ll walk in on us.”

“Oh, is that why you want to go to the Ruby Room? You want him to watch?”

“Maybe…”

“You’re nasty. Go talk to your sugar daddies, and text me later. And behave yourself!”

“Okay.”

*click*

 

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