I went with my friends to the strip club the other night, and it made me learn a few important things about myself. First off, the strippers in Vegas are very hands on, which is something I was 100% not prepared for. With that lack of preparation, I realized: damn, I don’t know really know how to be a patron at a strip club. Sure, in the past I’ve enjoyed sitting at the rail and tipping and chatting, but, no, I was not prepared for hella titties in my face. It was nice, but also probably not really my thing. While I do love titties, I prefer to suck and fondle them rather than get hit in the face with them. Also, getting a lap dance was kinda weird, although because I’m from the Bay and there are pretty strict and heavily enforced “no touching” rules I didn’t really know how to touch a stripper giving me a lap dance. Like, is this okay? What are your boundaries? Ok, cool, you’re getting paid for this, but how can I not be a creep? On the other hand, I realized that sitting there and being slightly disinterested and slightly uncomfortable probably was not a good look because way to make someone feel like they’re not doing their job very well. So I tried to get into it, but how do I get into this? It was fun, but, wow, I do not have a penis, and getting a lap dance made me wish I had a penis just for this exact moment because it was pretty hot. On the other hand, the cynical part of me knew that this was just a simulation of sex and attraction and not the genuine thing, but who cares, I definitely got my moneys worth out of it. (Correction: I definitely got someone else’s money worth out of it). I realized that going into a strip club and getting a dance isn’t really at the top of the list of things I want to do in life (or even close to the top), and I prefer sitting at the rail and watching the dances and chatting. Getting a lap dance isn’t something I would ever spend my own money on, not because my ego is so inflated that I think I can get that kind of attention on my own through the sheer force of game (I can’t, and I know that), but because it just didn’t give me that happy, tingly feeling in between my legs. However, at the end of the day, my true revelation was: damn, I have zero game with women. I don’t really know how to approach or be approached by a woman in a sexual sense. I’ve never really tried, mostly because I’ve spent all of my life focusing on how to be sexually attractive to men, but, you know what? Investing all that time into being attractive to men wasn’t necessarily the best use of my time and resources, so I think I’m going to learn something new. I’m going to learn how to be a lesbian. Which, I know, sexual orientation isn’t something that you can just flip on and off like a light switch. But that’s not what I’m doing. I’m not trying to make light of the situation. In fact, I’ve always been attracted to women. I’ve just never really known how to manage that attraction or even feel comfortable with it. Don’t get me wrong, I still love dick, but I’m kinda sick of being limited to heterosexuality. It can be a bit stifling. However, because I always aspire to be a good lay, this is going to be an entire learning process. Yup, you know what that means: I am on a mission to learn how to be good at eating pussy. I can admit in this moment that I probably fucking suck, which is part of the reason why I’m uncomfortable with approaching women: I’m totally inexperienced. Well, not totally, but I definitely don’t know what makes cunnilingus good or bad from a giver’s perspective. Every time I’ve gone down on a woman, I definitely felt like I was not as good as I wanted to be, which is why on some level I just gave up. The idea of studying women, studying their bodies, studying game is truly fascinating to me, mostly because I am a woman, so you’d think that I could just see myself and do what I like in order to make it work. I mean, I could, but, honestly, if I’m going to do this, I want to do it well. I’m also totally intimidated by the idea of learning how to eat pussy, but that’s great because I can’t remember the last time I felt sexually intimidated by anything or anyone. I’d like to overcome my fears. Luckily, I’m surrounded by a lot of supportive people who are invested in helping me reach my goals. I’ll let you know how it goes.