My Lesbian Sexual Fantasy

I realized the other day that I kinda have a crush on this girl. Or, not a crush, it’s actually a lot darker than that. Yes, there’s sexual attraction there, but there’s also some pretty violent urges mixed in with it, too. I don’t really know what to call it or how to explain it. Mostly because I’m totally straight, so, yeah, how does this add up? I mean, sure, I’ve hooked up with girls before, mostly in the context of the MFF, but I’ve had a handful of legit lesbian experiences. It’s how I figured out that I’m not very queer at all. When tasked with eating another woman’s pussy, I usually wrinkle up my nose, throw the hitachi wand at her, and tell her to finish herself off and then leave. It’s an experience that really made me feel like I was in touch with my own twisted form of internal toxic masculinity. Although, it’s not that I’m not into women like that. In all honesty, damn, boobs are truly amazing and I love touching them. And it’s not that I’m not into pussy in general because, let me tell you, I sure do love my own pussy so I guess that love could very easily translate to another woman’s pussy. I think it’s just that, at this age, I’m not really interested in learning anything new. I’d like to think it’s because I’m lazy, but in my heart of hearts I know it’s that I don’t want to try eating pussy and then realize I’m bad at it. My ego can’t take it. Also, I invested so much fucking time in sucking dick, I don’t really want to spend years perfecting pussy eating. Let me be an old dog. Don’t teach me any new tricks. Although, who knows, maybe eating pussy for me is what anal sex is to other people – gotta save it for someone special, right? Wait for marriage or some shit? I mean, I’m definitely not in a place in my life where I want to go out and lick a hundred different pussies just so I can good at it. Perhaps later in life I’ll find the motivation to get into eating pussy. Just…right now, not so much. Guess I’ll just let this crush rot in the ether because, honestly, I think the only reason I have this crush is because, well…this person is very hot, but she has such a trash personality, and I kinda just wanna see if I got game like that. The sexual fantasy that plays out in my head is definitely one where I seduce her at a bar, take her home, and then as soon as we get back to my place I say, “Actually, can you leave?” Which is a really weird sexual fantasy to have because it’s not very sexual at all, it’s more about ego masturbation than anything else. But, hey, sometimes it’s not about fucking someone, it’s about knowing that you have the option to fuck them that really counts, and then it’s also about rejecting someone just to be an asshole for your own gratification.

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