The Hottest Guy in the Room

“Mostly I just always try to fuck the hottest girl in the room.”

This is something I’ve heard from many men over the course of my life. I guess it’s like a pride thing – do you have enough game to pull the hottest chick in the room? As someone who likes to think that she has plenty of game, I wondered: I am capable of the female equivalent? Do I pull the hottest guy in the room?

That got me wondering. Now, for all my male friends, pulling the hottest girl in the room is, for the most part, a matter of taste. We women put a lot of effort into our appearance – we contour our make up, wear five inch heels and mini skirts, we wear waist trainers to the gym, we post alluring selfies on the Internet to increase our pull. Basically, we work hard to try to be the hottest girl in the room. That way, when a guy walks into the room, he has like three to seven hot chicks to pick from. If the first one doesn’t click, there are other women he can talk to without it being an admission of defeat.

Women, however, do not always have that option. Sometimes there isn’t a hot guy in the room – there’s just men wearing their sneakers and their t-shirts and their hoodies looking like they didn’t sleep enough or hit the gym. I find this to be very frustrating. Do you know how much time and money and effort I put into looking fuckable on a daily basis? Yet half the places I go to I can find a man who looks like he thought twice about what he was wearing that day. And I live in the Bay Area, so like half the men I see every day are gay! What happened to living up to the stereotype?

And that’s the problem with hot guys: they’re so relatively few and far between when it comes to the ratio of hot guys to hot girls. As soon as there’s one hot guy, every woman who feels like she’s earned a man who is equally attractive to her flocks to him, and then there’s that whole competition thing that we feminists eschew nowadays.

I know men are putting a lot of effort into convincing women that looks aren’t everything. People rage at the friend zone, meninists talk about their biological drive for sex on a fundamental level. Fairy tales like Beauty & The Beast tell us that we should look beyond skin deep. (Although, mostly we look beyond skin deep and into wallets, but, hey, I just live in a capitalist society, I didn’t build it.)

I get it – women have been culturally trained to care about their appearances, and men have been trained to care about their income. But as feminism changes that dynamic, I’d like to think that not only can women care about their income but men can also care about their appearances, with neither of those changes being a threat to the standard gender dynamic.

Because, let’s be honest, feminism has women at a point where we can both look amazing and rake in money. Men – when are you going to catch up? Honestly, it’s not that hard. You just gotta go to the gym two or three times a week, do some cardio, some crunches, lift a few weights. Wear pants that fit and anything other than a t-shirt and a hoodie with the name of the start up your best friend works at. Look at some style blogs, go to a nice store and ask some questions. Make an appointment at a hair salon and ask the hair stylists for some tips. Stop biting your fingernails. Buy some good face wash and spend some money on a scent other than Axe body spray. Get a hobby that can be talked about casually at a bar. Sure, I know, there’s a lot to be learned when it comes to grooming yourself, but, theoretically isn’t the trade off worth it?

All I’m saying is – how all these dudes on Seeking Arrangements gonna claim they have all this money but not even look it? Sure, making tons of money probably means you’re intelligent in some way, but if you have no social intelligence, how much is the rest of that intelligence really worth?

I’m trynna live my best Instagram life – are you?


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