So. I had writer’s block for a while though. FUCKING SUCKED.
Those were dark months. I mean, the depression was horrid. Could you even imagine – I had fallen out of love with my voice! Oh, the heart break. It was unbearable. After years and years of loving my voice and loving everything I had to say – there was just…nothing. It was the worst feeling ever.
There were a few things that precipitated my writer’s block. First off, several very stressful events including an abortion and an eviction just really took the wind out of me. But, secondly – and this I find to be quite curious – I wasn’t interested in listening to myself. Sure, the quality of my writing over the years ebbs and flows. But I found that the more I listened to the world around me, the more I found that what I had to say felt irrelevant and disingenuous. Yeah, this was a direct result of a political climate that magnified the fact that many people’s voices are not heard at all. But it didn’t even make sense logically for me to shut up.
I wanted truth. I wanted a little bit of truth to come at me, or to come from within me. Generally, I thrive on chaos and pain, but I had reached my limit. Being the person I had been and writing about the things I had written about – it didn’t make sense anymore. Not now.
But that changed. Thank fucking god. I can feel that I’m a bit rusty on this keyboard, which makes me sad because I used to do this every day, with gusto and with skill. I’m kinda mad at the people who made me sad because they took me away from the thing I love the most, but…it’s okay. I’m back.
New blog, new me. What kind of delights do we have waiting in store for us now?